..."Join the revolution and refuse the seductions of the mind-numbing allure of all things digital -- at least long enough to think a great thought, hear a great lecture, enjoy a quality conversation (with a real, live face-to-face human being), listen to a great sermon, visit a museum, read a good book, or take in a beautiful sunset.
People who cannot maintain mental attention cannot know the intimacy of prayer, and God does not maintain a Facebook page. Our ability to focus attention is not just about the mind, for it is also a reflection of the soul. Our Christian discipleship demands that we give attention to our attention."
(you can read the whole posting by clicking on his name in the right hand column)
As I read this, the line in BOLD letters (emphasis mine) really jumped out at me. Because I think that is a secret to success in any relationship, being able to have a quality conversation.
No screaming, no yelling, no hidden agendas or finding fault all the time, not acting mad when someone says something (who are you really mad at by the way? But that will be another time.)
Just an honest, non-emotional, high caring, high quality conversation! As I look around me personally and professionally, people who know how to do this have a pretty good life. They seem to ride the storms out much better than those who do not know how to talk to someone important in their life.
I reflect back last week when I went and saw Sam in the hospital, no agenda when I showed up, just wanted to be there for him and encourage him. We had some really good conversations about jobs, education and things that we would have not taken the time to discuss if he had not lying in bed.
Having a quality conversation requires a couple of things:
- It requires that I put my self interest aside
- It requires that I genuinely care about the other person
- It requires that I look for a solution not that I am right or I win you lose
- It requires that I hold my emotions in check
- It requires that I assume the other person has good intentions until proven wrong
- It requires that I apologize when needed, sometimes I am the problem
- It requires that I forgive when ask, and not hold grudges
Because as Dr. Mohler says above, (Salyer paraphrase) if we cannot focus on each other and pay attention to the relationships we have with the people in our lives, it has to be hard to turn the "attention" switch on and pay attention to God when he is trying to speak to us.
Angela and I have really improved on this since we got married (27+ wonderful years), but I guess that is one of the things that makes our marriage great, the ability to talk and listen to each other.
Sure we still disagree and make mistakes (mostly on my end), she knows I love her and I know she loves me and that is the result of the best conversation of all. The conversation we have with God about each other, our boys, family members, church members, and friends.
Those conversations are called prayers and they are the best of conversations of all.
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